Adversity and challenge are inevitably interwoven with our increasingly complex lives, when we experience such times we can experience sadness, frustration or even despair. Hope has been critical for me during such times in my life, particularly during my many years of infertility and recurrent miscarriage (you can read my blog about that here https://www.theholdingspacecounselling.com.au/post/pregnancy-and-child-loss-and-the-scars-they-leave-behind). I had two postcards I had picked up in a cafe (pictured here) and I kept one on the fridge and one on my bedhead - and I looked at them everyday to remind me to hold onto hope - and 12 years later I still have them ...
Hope is a complex emotion which involves both expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen. It’s an optimistic state of mind that is not just about wishing for a positive outcome but also about actively believing that such an outcome is possible. This belief helps us to take action often against the odds and persevere through challenges. Unlike wishing, hope is grounded in a belief that things can improve and that we have the ability to influence positive change in our lives.
When we are able to feel hopeful we are more likely to move in the direction of our desires this is especially powerful during times of adversity when taking action, no matter how small, can help break the cycle of feeling helplessness and powerless. Hope gives us a sense of agency - the belief that we can make things happen - this self-efficacy is crucial for enabling us to persist.
Hope in Practice
How can we all develop a sense of hope in our lives …
Practice Self-Care: Take care of your physical and emotional well-being. Engaging in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfillment can strengthen your resilience and hope (see my blog on Self Care here https://www.theholdingspacecounselling.com.au/post/self-care-beyond-the-candles-and-bubbles).
Focus on What You Can Control: During difficult times, it's easy to become overwhelmed by the vastness of the problem, concentrating on aspects of your life that you can influence
Set Small, Meaningful, Achievable Steps or Goals: identifying achievable small steps or goals that are important to you, and align with your values.
Focus on Progress: Celebrate small improvements and victories along the way. Recognising and appreciating incremental progress can give you a sense of accomplishment and reinforce your hope.
Seek Support: Connecting with others who offer emotional and practical support can enhance your sense of hope. Sharing your struggles and receiving encouragement can remind you that you’re not alone.
Practice Gratitude: Reflecting on the positive aspects of your life, even in the face of adversity, can help shift your focus from what is going wrong to what is going right. This shift can help sustain hope.
Reflect on Past Success and Resilience: Remember previous challenges you’ve overcome and the strengths you used to get through them, to remind you of your capacity to handle future obstacles.
Visualise a Positive Future: Imagining a better future can serve as a powerful motivator. Visualising successful outcomes and the steps needed to get there can strengthen your belief in the possibility of positive change.
The Science Behind Hope
Research in psychology and neuroscience has shown that hope plays a crucial role in mental and emotional health. According to Charles Snyder's Hope Theory, hope is composed of three key elements:
Goals: hope begins with setting clear, achievable goals which provide a sense of purpose and direction.
Pathways: involve being flexible and creative in finding ways to reach our desired outcome - the ability to generate multiple strategies to achieve our goals.
Agency: the belief in our capacity to make things happen. It’s the inner conviction that we have the power and determination to persevere despite challenges.
Hope is not passive; it is an active, powerful force that helps us to work through adversity. By understanding and harnessing the role of hope, we can navigate through life's challenges with resilience, motivation, and optimism. In a world filled with uncertainties and challenges, understanding the nature of hope and harnessing its potential can make a profound difference to our feeling of the future. Many of us have experienced things so completely overwhelming that we have not been able to hold hope either momentarily or for a prolonged period … and we might give way to despair, which is human - and sometimes necessary. One of the most beautiful exchanges I have heard in my exploration of therapy was a therapist saying to a client that “I have your hope here I’m holding it like a balloon and I will hold it for you until you’re ready and able to take it back.” I hope that if you’ve had times of despair you’ve found someone who can hold your hope, therapy is a great place where this can happen.
You might enjoy this beautiful clip of Nick Cave talking about the warrior emotion hope and how hard earned it is ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFM4GVl-WqI
Comment below how has hope been important in your life journey?
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