Self care is a topic I’m pretty passionate about. While, in our capitalist society, it is frequently conscripted to be about things we can buy like lovely candles, spa days, books in a bubble bath and pedicures - it is often much more simple and a little less glamourous.
Sometimes self care is about things which do not feel so appealing at all like getting on top of household chores and to do lists, eating more healthily, and exercising. Other times it might be about letting some of those things slip for a day or more- giving yourself grace to let things slide and to rest. If this idea appeals - check out the fabulous work of Tricia Hersey https://thenapministry.com/ founder of the Nap Ministry who proposes that rest is fundamental to wellbeing - and that insisting on the right to rest is an act of resistance against the culture of busy which the patriarchy perpetuates. Sometimes it is about simple things - making time to be in nature, setting aside 10 minutes a day to journal or to practice mindfulness ...
Sometimes self care involves having difficult conversations or setting boundaries to protect our time, energy and integrity. I love Dr Rebecca Ray’s work in this area from her book Setting Boundaries (https://rebeccaray.com.au/books/) where she reminds us that …
“Boundaries aren't barriers; they're bridges to healthier, more fulfilling relationships.”
Social commentary on self-care often infers a very surface level approach- take a break and treat yourself. And while there’s no doubt that we all deserve regular breaks and should treat ourselves well, meaningful sustainable self-care is fundamentally linked positive self regard and self compassion. Self compassion is about our ability to give ourselves the care and compassion we give to others - derived from latin, the term refers to how we’re with (com) suffering (passion). Dr Kristen Neff has dedicated years of study to this concept - check out her website for background, practical tips and exercises you can try - https://self-compassion.org.
My favourite conversation on this topic is from Glennon, Abby and Amanda’s podcast - We Can Do Hard Things - have a listen here … and leave a comment in the chat about what self care means for you …
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